


there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear

by sugdensrobert



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, a bit of angst but mostly fluff, a fic about robert's love for and taste in music, basically canon compliant, not sure what this is but i hope you enjoy, robert listens to taylor swift its canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 05:16:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20402290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugdensrobert/pseuds/sugdensrobert
Summary: robert doesn't hide his taste in music anymore and instead tries to get his husband to listen to the songs he loves.have a fic about robert's love for music and taylor swift.





	there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear

**Author's Note:**

> i spent the whole of last friday listening to taylor's new album and i couldn't help but think about robert listening to it so tada we have one fic that totally ran away with me! i never intended it to be this long lmao but i hope it's enjoyable for some of you!!
> 
> (ps. this is also supposed to be the same friday for robert so it fits with everthing that's hapening on screen atm)

_He loved it, absolutely loved it. That wonderful giddy feeling that good music gave him present in his whole body. His coffee had gone cold but other than that nothing had changed, he was still in the same position as he was when he pressed play. Robert was on the couch, knees pressed to his chest phone in hand, the Mill still quiet in the relatively early morning, Aaron and Liv both enjoying a lie in after their night of GCSE celebrations yesterday. _

Robert hadn’t been able to get back to sleep after he had first woken up. After watching his husband for a bit he decided to get himself a coffee to take back up. Waiting around for the water to boil he had scrolled on his phone, sighing when he stumbled across an email from _Spotify._ Making a mental note to put a stop to those emails he was about to click on a different email when something caught his eye.

_Taylor Swift._ After he had made that one jokey comment to Aaron years ago it was now kind of a running joke. It wasn’t just a joke though, and after years of being with Aaron he made less and less of an effort to hide his music taste. ‘_Cheesy teen pop’ _his husband would still call it, while said husband would nod to music that Robert would also class as teen pop. And maybe there were some cd’s that technically belonged to him and that were pretty much teen pop scattered around the place but so what? Robert also never managed to forget that Aaron had once called it ‘quite sweet’ which had also become some sort of running joke. Aaron using those words and Robert being called them always something that made them both blush and laugh.

Before Robert’s mind had the time to drift off to thoughts about court, prison, leaving Aaron and his family, the water had boiled and Robert spied whoever’s earphones on the kitchen table. Abandoning the idea of going back to bed he decided to distract himself by actually listening to the album. When he was younger he was always on top of release dates and new music from his favourite artists but nowadays he’d be lucky if he got to listen to new stuff within a week of it coming out. Not that he minded, his life right now one that he absolutely loved but sitting down peacefully to listen to new albums remained one of those things he just loved doing. Because that was his way of doing it, one Aaron didn’t understand. Aaron would listen to new stuff at work, in the car or while clearing up around the house. Robert didn’t, anticipated albums needed appreciation he would explain to a laughing Aaron time and time again whenever he’d announce that he didn’t want to be disturbed.

Settling down he pressed stream now, an almost embarrassing excitement sizzling through him.

So he loves it. Resisting the urge to play his favourites again, he pulls out the earphones listening out for any signs of life. There are none either from his husband or Liv which means Robert could even do his next album ritual in peace, another thing his husband liked to mock him lovingly about. Robert loved lyrics, he also loved showing Aaron lyrics that reminded him of his husband or reminded him of _them_ which was probably quite embarrassing but who needed to know? Aaron was the only person he needed to show those words to, the only one who got it although the younger man liked to pretend his husband was just being an annoying romantic, but the soft look in his eyes (after he had rolled them dramatically) told Robert enough.

Aaron was one of those people that claimed not to pay attention to lyrics he just liked the beat. Robert couldn’t understand that to save himself, while also knowing that this wasn’t always the case for his husband. Evidence for this clearly there when Aaron would mumble along to their playlist, and when in a soppy mood would even give Robert quick glances and soft smiles at what the older man liked to refer as _relatable lyrics._

After reheating his coffee Robert settles himself down again ready to hit play all over again but this time intending to listen to the lyrics closely.

The last songs fades away and there’s rustling right next to him. Opening his eyes he’s met with Liv’s confused expression. The younger girl seems to be working out whether there is cause for concern or not.

“Are you alright?” She asks, her expression half amusement half worry.

“What- yeah?” Robert replies, taking out the earphones.

“Were you….crying?”

“I was what- no of course not-“ he wants to say more but suddenly Aaron’s coming down the stairs, eying him up. “He was what?” he says looking in between him and Liv.

“I wasn’t crying” Robert says almost indignant.

“Why are your eyes slightly red then?” Liv counters “or were you sleeping down here?”

Robert refuses to believe he actually cried because he just can’t have done. “I was just listening to music” he gestures vaguely to his phone. To his surprise Liv bursts out laughing at that “please tell me you didn’t-”

“What?” Aaron all but interrupts and now looking more confused than ever.

“Were you listening to Taylor’s new album?”

“You know she has a new one out?” there’s this feeling of almost betrayal that Liv didn’t inform him about this, realising too late what he must sound like.

“Unbelievable” Aaron mutters, walking over to the kitchen clearly leaving his husband and sister to it now it’s registered with him that Robert was crying about bloody teen pop and not something life threatening.

“I can’t believe you listened to it before me” Liv continues “not sure if I still want to listen now I know you’ve related it all to you and Aaron.”

“I have not!”

“Quite sure about that?” Liv laughs “you always get soppy when it comes to love songs.”

“Liv leave him alone” Aaron says in an amused voice shaking his head fondly. If Robert hadn’t felt quite so embarrassed he would have laughed at the domesticity of it all.

“Have you eaten Rob?” Aaron continues probably noticing Robert’s slight embarrassment. He tells him he hasn’t yet and heads over to the kitchen to help his husband with breakfast, not before shoving Liv playfully on the way though.

During breakfast Robert thinks about the songs that definitely need adding to his and Aaron’s playlist.

“See ya later. Don’t listen to too much Taylor while working eh?” Aaron grins kissing him on the head, the younger man about to head to the yard.

“Shut up” Robert grins back, glad Liv isn’t here to hear this conversation, the younger girl having gone out for another day of celebrations.

“But you should definitely check on our playlist later, during your break or whatever” he tries.

“Absolutely not.”

He tries again during lunch, unsuccessfully.

He’s making himself a quick bite to eat when his husband comes through the door.

“Hey, didn’t expect you here for lunch, thought you were busy.”

“Trying to get rid of me already are ya” Aaron grins quickly pecking him on the lips.

“Wouldn’t dare.”

“Nah, I’ve got enough time for a proper lunch hour so I’d thought I’d get home. What I was really hoping for was catching you dancing around the place. I’m bitterly disappointed.”

“As if I would dance on my own eh” Robert laughs before carefully adding “have you listened to the ones I’ve added to our playlist.”

“What do you think.”

“Oh Aaron please- there’s only a few.”

“Too many for me. Make me some of that will ya.”

Robert knew he could make Aaron listen to the songs he had added to their playlist eventually and the time had finally come. Lying on their bed, earphones in he waited for his husband who was just finishing up in the bathroom. Robert was almost certain that with his guard down Aaron wouldn’t say no to him.

The door opened revealing the younger man now freshly showered, all sleepy smiles and soft hair.

“Hey” Robert smiled, watching Aaron come closer to the bed. “Hey” Aaron said softly, coming to a standstill just before he’s about to climb in “this is where you are gonna make me listen to Taylor Swift innit?”

“Please” Robert grinned knowing he had won.

“Only because I don’t have energy for much else and I can’t take your begging for much longer”

“I didn’t do any begging thank you very much.”

“Sure about that? Well let’s hear it then.”

Suddenly Robert felt almost nervous which was stupid but he couldn’t help it. He shifted closer to Aaron, his head touching the younger man’s shoulder and he handed over one earphone. “Listen properly” he almost demanded and Aaron let out a laugh.

“And I thought you’d be more grateful. Robert I know you remember, you want me to listen to the lyrics I know that.”

“Okay, well then. This first song is a love song.”

Aaron rolled his eyes “I should think so, why else would it be on our playlist, added by Mr. Hopeless Romantic himself.” As a reply Robert could only glance at his husband.

(Lover)

_‘Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever.’_

During the chorus Robert looked up at Aaron who met his glance and smiled softly.

“I quite like it” he whispered softly and Robert could practically feel himself lighting up, a beaming smile on his face.

_‘I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover’._

Robert couldn’t help watching his husband’s face at this bit. This line in the bridge standing out to him straight away when he listened to the song for the first time.

“You about me innit.” Aaron said, not even looking at Robert but sensing he was staring at him. Robert couldn’t help but laugh at that comment even though it was of course no word of a lie.

_‘And you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me, and at every table, I’ll save you a seat, lover.’_

“I can definitely see why you relate to this song so much. You and your dirty jokes” Aaron grinned.

“It’s about us both- you idiot. And it’s you who’s always saving me a spot at the pub.” Aaron blushed slightly at that before looking at Robert and smiling softly “I guess you’re right, lover.” Robert grinned again, feeling ridiculously happy that his husband was actually enjoying this.

As the song finished Robert said “so one for our next wedding then huh.”

“We need to break up first before we have another wedding.”

“Oi, not necessarily” Robert laughed, looking for the next song he wanted Aaron to hear.

“Right talking about wedding’s, I really like this song- it’s a happy one.”

“Well yeah that would be nice” Aaron replied sarcastically.

(Paper Rings)

_‘I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings.'_

“Did she-“ Aaron started laughing “wow this song really is made for you, you _love_ shiny things.”

“Yeah, but I would have married you with a paper ring if I had to.”

“Hmm- might have been safer and all what with you going back in the water for a bloody ring.” It wasn’t something they talked about often and when they did it was either during a serious conversation or like this, a thrown away comment. Another one of those things that now seemed like almost a lifetime ago.

“I guess” Robert half smiled, lifting his head up so he could look at the other man properly. “I had to though. It seemed right.”

“I know I know” Aaron shushed him, reassuring him that he wasn’t angry about it, wasn’t ever really. Just glad that Robert wasn’t hurt during that romantic but definitely quite (very) stupid gesture.

_‘I want to drive away with you, I want your complications too, I want your dreary Mondays.’ _

They listened to the rest of the song in silence. Aaron with a smile on his face, the hand that was resting on his stomach tapping along in time with the beat. When the song finishes Robert looks up at him expectantly. “Yeah liked it, good beat I guess.” Robert nodded happily knowing that was a glowing review from Aaron. “So a good addition to the playlist then?” Aaron couldn’t resist rolling his eyes but he nodded regardless.

“Right-“ Robert started. “So this is a breakup song.”

“You put a breakup song on the playlist?” Aaron exclaimed.

“Well- yeah. But not all of the songs on there are happy, are they?” He questioned.

“Not sure, hope most are though” Aaron frowned.

“Do listen though. It doesn’t actually sound sad, it’s just the lyrics that are sad.” Robert tried to explain probably rather clumsily.

“C’mon then.”

(Death By A Thousand Cuts)

_‘I get drunk, but it’s not enough. Cause the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’_

_‘I see you everywhere, the only thing we share is this small town.’_

Robert has his eyes on Aaron’s face while listening, but the younger man doesn’t give anything away. Maybe it’s because Aaron doesn’t recognize himself in the lyrics. Robert definitely does.

_‘You said it was a great love, one for the ages.’_

At this Aaron frowns, looking down at Robert who still has his head on his shoulder. The older man gives him a tiny smile and Aaron mirrors it, a knowing glint to the look in his eyes.

_‘Tryna find a part of me that you didn’t touch.’_

Robert remembers hearing that line for the first time and the panic that almost clawed at his chest. He couldn’t help think that Aaron might have felt that way back when they were broken up. He looks at Aaron carefully, the movement alerting the other man. Aaron just moves his head a bit so it’s touching Robert’s but he doesn’t say anything yet. When it finishes Robert grabs his phone to stop the next song from playing. “So, what do you think?”

“I get what you mean- it wasn’t sad but it was” Aaron states and Robert nods.

“Shall I take it out of our playlist?” Robert asks.

“No- don’t. I do like it.”

“I do too, just glad I don’t feel like that anymore.” Robert laughs half-heartedly.

“When you used to get drunk a lot.” Aaron says, moving his head slightly so that he can look at Robert.

“Uh yeah, I guess” Robert says, hadn’t really expected Aaron to remember any of the lyrics.

“Does the song remind you of me and Alex?” Aaron asks suddenly and Robert’s eyes widen, a heavy weight suddenly pressing on his chest.

“No-“ he stammers.

“Sorry-“ Aaron says, a sad look on his face. “I didn’t mean to make you upset- sorry.” He was shaking his head and Robert wanted the sad look on his husband’s face to go away.

“I am not upset- it’s fine honestly. Well I mean like I guess it makes me think of all sorts you know? Everything that happened during that time, so also you with someone else but not just that” he tried to explain. It was starting to become a weird conversation but Robert preferred to just keep talking instead of changing the subject. They were so solid and secure now that they always tried to have difficult conversations even if their first instinct told them to change or dismiss the subject.

Aaron nods understandingly “I never tried to get rid of you though, not really. I couldn’t. I never wanted to forget certain memories, things we did, things we loved.”

Robert feels dangerously close to tears. Deep down he had known this, the things Aaron had told him the night they got back together and the days and even weeks after that confirming it for him time and time again.

The way Aaron had once again been able to read him so easily should probably almost scare him but it didn’t, it never would. “I am glad” is all he could say and Aaron smiled at him beautifully, moving his head again so it was touching Robert’s.

“So is the next song another sad but also not sad one” Aaron said breaking the silence.

Robert shook his head “no, we have had them all.”

“Seriously?! But we’ve only had three songs.”

“I know- there are loads on the actual album but not all appropriate for our playlist.”

“Oh” Aaron almost sounded disappointed and Robert laughed dropping a kiss to Aaron’s shoulder. “You enjoyed our little listening party then?” Aaron didn’t respond seeming lost in thought. “Hey” Robert tried as a way of getting the younger man’s attention.

“Which song made you cry then?”

“I wasn’t crying” Robert tries unsuccessfully, to be honest he’d almost forgotten about being caught by Liv (and Aaron) and had hoped the younger man had forgotten as well.

“I know you were, you always cry at songs and movies, I know you.”

Robert sighed and Aaron added “I am not laughing at you or anything, I just want to know, I am curious.”

“I wasn’t really crying though- it just-“ Robert tried finding the right words.

“Got to you” Aaron filled in for him and he nodded. He picked up his phone stretching his arm over his husband’s stomach.

When he had properly listened to the lyrics of the song it had shocked him how much it seemed to be about him. How appropriate it had seemed for certain moments in his life, especially those involving Aaron. He didn’t want to end their night on a sad note and with the way Aaron could read him so well he wasn’t sure if he could avoid it.

“Right, here ya go” Robert said burying his face into the crook of Aaron’s neck. He had skipped the song a few times today because even though he loved it, it did bring up memories and thoughts that weren’t all happy and he’d been wanting to avoid feeling upset.

(Afterglow)

_‘I blew things out of proportion, now you’re blue. Put you in jail for something you didn’t do.’_

Only a few words into the song, Robert could feel his husband trying to look at him but Robert didn’t move.

_‘Chemistry ‘till it blows up, ‘till there’s no us. Why’d I have to break what I love so much? It’s on your face, and I’m to blame. I need to say.’_

There was more movement from the younger man but Robert decided to not respond. He let Aaron grab his hand though. Letting him link their fingers together resting their hands on his stomach.

_‘Hey, it’s all me, in my head. I’m the one who burned us down. But it’s not what I meant. Sorry that I hurt you. I don’t wanna do, I don’t wanna do this to you. I don’t wanna lose, I don’t wanna lose this with you.’_

The chorus spoke to Robert on a different level, his jaw dropping when he heard it for the first time. They were all the words Robert had wanted to say to Aaron, multiple times during their journey to get where they were now. And not just then also now. Because wasn’t it exactly what had happened again. He was facing life in prison, he was about to mess up everything they had known once again. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, he never did. He felt the familiar feeling of self-hatred pulsing through his body, the feeling of his tears building up. He didn’t ever want to ruin things between him and Aaron but why did it sometimes feel like that’s all he did.

_‘It’s so excruciating to see you low. Just wanna lift you up and not let you go.’_

Wasn’t that always the truth when it came to Aaron. It’s why Aaron still believes Robert will probably only go down for a year. The truth will kill Aaron and he wants to postpone it for as long as he possible can even though he knows the younger man won’t thank him for it.

“Rob you awake?” Aaron mutters, untangling their hands so he can touch his shoulder gently.

“Yeah” Robert responds, lifting his head up to see Aaron who’s smiling down at him softly. He shifts so they are now just laying next to each other.

“Robert, if you think that song is about you, you’re wrong. It’s about both of us.”

“You always do that” Robert says knowing what Aaron means. The younger man always ready to defend Robert against his own mind. How many times had he told Robert that the reason they didn’t work out all the times before wasn’t just on him.

“Because I am right” Aaron counters, smiling. “But I will tell you every day if I have to. We both made mistakes and we will continue to do so in the future god knows, but you know as well as I do that we are already so much better than we ever were. We’re a team. As long as we share stuff and communicate it’s going to be okay. In all seriousness Robert, you know I hate to think that you still carry all that blame. We’re amazing now let’s enjoy it yeah? We deserve it.”

Robert nodded trying to swallow away the lump that had formed in his throat during his husband’s little speech. Reassuring words from Aaron were always able to make him feel safe and secure but now it also made his guilt almost unbearable. But he can’t tell him, can’t wipe away the soft smile on his husband’s face, the way his eyes are watching him expectantly. 

“I love you so so much” is what Robert tells him instead.

“I love you more” Aarons says lifting himself up to drop a kiss to his forehead, nose and finally his lips. Robert sighs letting himself sink into this content feeling completely. _We’re amazing now let’s enjoy it _his husband had said and he was going to bury himself in all the happy moments they were still going to have. He lifts himself up to return the favour, grabbing Aaron’s face and kissing him deeply.

They lay there like that for a while, just enjoying the silence.

Robert grins, a question forming on his lips “shall we listen again?”

“You better be joking. I just want to sleep now.”

Robert laughs fondly “but you know where to find them.”

“Mhh” Aaron mumbles sleepily.

And If Robert catches his husband listening to some of their news songs tomorrow nobody else would have to know.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading as always!


End file.
